running away.

nv felt so scared and worried in my life.

it may seem not like a big deal to anyone.n im oso sick of myself complaining and whining all the time. but im rlly scared to face this..i hate it when i hv to feel so worried and scared all the time..i hate it when im feelin so scared to even think abt dat. juz the tot of it mks me worried.

i dun tink i can handle it anymore..n i totally hate myself nw..im nt myself. n drowning in a a total mess of everythin. although i noe dat im fortunate compared to some other ppl..but im starting to feel dat this is over my threshold..more that wad i can handle.

maybe i tot too highly of myself..i tot i could handle it..i tot dat somehw everything will have a solution n everythin will be ok. but it doesnt seem like it. it has been a few mths more than the time i had given myself to adapt to sth..but is not wrking.

i become a procrastinator more n more.this aint gd. this aint rite.

im juz at a loss.wad happen to my fighting spirit.is like i feel like a loser and failure every single day n is juz disgusting.

i hate to admit defeat seriously. but maybe is time for me to rethink of everything.wad do i rlly wan?wad is more impt in life?

god.y am i still stuck in this mess.hw long more can i hang on to this.

someone tell me.

trying.

everythin is nt easy at all.

im trying real hard..not sure if is too hard dats y i keep feelin stuck all the time.

i dun wish to giveup juz like dat but i dun wana miss out other tings in life too.

life is make up of ur own choices i guess.

another yr older.

haven blogged for ages liaoo!!!!

aniwae..just turned another yr older...tis yr felt very diff..im more worried abt becoming older than the usual excitment..guess when u rch 1/4 of ur life..will start tinkin abt wads ahead of u and ur current status ba...



work is not easy..in fact is difficult to the max,struggling real hard and tryin to think as positive as possible..too many emo and negative tots recently..abit too much until sometimes i feel i lost abit of myself ba...need to go back to the happy go lucky and positive me!!!!!!!! i can do it dee!!!

apart frm the not so happy portion..i felt loved as usual on this day ba...must thank mama for givin birth to me..and taking care of me until so biggg!!!is amazing how much i relied on my laoma and laopa ,ahma and of cos meimei and huihui!!! LOVE all of them to the max!!dunno y recently juz felt more strongly that family is rlly the pillar of everythin. they will be the ones that will go thru thick and thin wif u..



THANKS to all my ke ai de friends toooo!!!!all the fb msgs and smses and pressies....all of u r real sweeet...esp some keep listening to my endless nagging and complainss.. :)


celebrate life. love.everything.

2011 Resolution

Yeap..another yr ended again.
honestly i dun even feel dat a yr has passed..is super duper scary..time flies like siaozz..hhaaa

anyway..this sums up what i hv accomplished in 2010; bascially accomplished most of my last yr resolutions

- spend my whole yr single and available
- maintained my vegetarian status for a yr!!!!! i persevered!!
- slpt in hotel room alone in malaysia biz trip ( for me is big big accomplishment!!!)
- for temple wise, whole team did a short 15 mins video act and advertisement frm scratch - frm
filming all the way to editing. tink we rlly did an amazing job!!
- first time did a wedding collage for close friend wedding and first time to be part of the jiemei team. was fun!
- short trips to malaysia wif the ex ex epson peeps - enjoy our shopping and long gal chat..tink dat totally made us closer tog!! and also ex epson peeps to attend malaysia wedding
- Long trip to Hokkaido wif meimei..tho is japan again but we still heart the place to the max
- did my first photoshoot wif some friends..was very interesting.
- went for my first concert - backstreet boys!!!!
- started my first yoga lesson - trying to be more healthy!
- cut off my long time bob hair to become shortie hair..heee...
- maintained usual meetups wif all friends plus long time no meet friends
- better r/s wif family
- last big ting i did this yr was to quit my old job and start a new career at a new company..much more challenging and different..still dunno if i can handle it totally but will try my very best ba..

It was a great yr and i tried and accomplished loads of tings..tho of course thr are downturns and everythin..im glad dat i survived thru. grew and hopefully be a better person as a whole.

2011 New resolutions

- Put more focus and attention to my new career. cannot be nua and must try my very best to
learn as much as possible. is a gd learning ground for me, im sure will grow alot here!
- enen and me set a goal of reducing 5kg within 3 mths..so it means cuttin down on supper,tidbits
and everythin else...ate too much last yr and of cos stay healthy
-Spend more time wif family..still not doing gd enough here..esp wif popo side
- USA trip to c meimei graduate
- Stay positive and optimistic and continue reading more bks..i keep reading and stopping at the
same time..must improve at this area
- Continue to stay in contact wif all my lovely friends
- stop procrastinating and learn hw to makeup..hahaaa..
- Continue to make donations to non profit org
- Try to sing more this yr..esp go to lessons more if possible..haven train a lot last yr
- Hopefully JJ lin concert this yr
- Be more confident..juz be more daring - it is somehw within myself somewhr
- Save more $$

im looking fwd to all the challenges and interesting events dat mite happen this yr!!! hao hao jiayou again this yr ba!!!!

New start!

once again,i haven update for a real long time....is end of the yr again..time realli fliesss!!!!

anyway..i made a huge decision nearing end of the yr..decided to leave my old co. and make a daring change to move on to another new co. this new co. is a lot more challenging and different frm my old one...it will be a very gd interesting experience for me ba...tot thru for a realllli long time cuz i noeee i will miss all my dear colleagues at epson...they have been real nice peeps!!!!

my last wk at epson was crazy busy...hopefully new person gets everythin tho it was a mad rush!!!!had my fair share of farewell lunches and dinners..thanks to everyone!!!realll sweet!

n i went to dinner and dance on my last dae...fairytale theme...super hilarious..we r all pokercardss.. :)

thanks everyone again for all the well wishes and pressies!! will miss alll of u tons and tons!!!!


new co has qte a diff culture..it is rlly startin all over again..learning everythin frm scratch and meeting new peeps..went to their xmas party and i had fun tooo...first time went to a club..is a interesting experiencee..hhaaa...they r fun ppl too!!! :)




Must hao hao jiayou and learn asap!!!

went USS recently tooo ( won tix frm epson dinner and dance) wif xuannie and linxi mei mei...heee...it was hell loads of fun..junior roller coaster is sscary de lor..ahhaa..tho we didnt tk a lot of rides..but we went ke siao tking tons of pics wif weird poses...



njoy my dae at USS!!!

xmas is nearing real sooon aniwaes...wishing everyone early merry xmas and happppy new yr as well!!

Goals.

recently read ' monk who sold his ferrari' and kinda make me start tinking abt my life,my goals and how the right attitude shd be...

is amazing and start jotting down some of the stuff down..wad i wana do and achieve..is cool cuz it realli kinda make u to start reflecting on wad u wan and whether so far u have achieved it.

i did sth on my list this week.
- made a blood donation to help ppl who are in need
- signed up for a yr membership for yoga lessons - lik super duper finalli..will make sure i go lessons very often!!!!

watched eat pray love recently too. wasnt like super duper wow but love some of the stuff dat was said in the movie..


i need to let it all go

of cos im haven stop havin a gd r/s wif all the good food n activites i have soo far.

malacca day trip wif colleagues and bumped into agnes!!



chill out wif crystal and bf.


tea sessions wif enen.



icecream treat wif hui.

new food place and ktv session wif linxi.




recent tiramisu session rite aft eat pray love movie.

back from trip

im actually back frm hokkaido for a pretty long time..juz too lazy to blog..LOL..
anyways..hokkaido is a realli pretty and relaxing place..enjoyed my time thr loads..made new friends and i actuali had great shopping time thr (tot it is a ulu place with no shopping but totally nt true at all!!) - more pics in fb.



cute ramen guy. :)
our new friend @ our free nite out.


hoping for another nice and long trip...maybe western countries for the nxt stop. :)

other meetups before and aft the trip.

my boss was real sweet to smuggle india macdonald vege burger all the way frm india for us to try...n it is yummy all rite!!
there was the 20th anni tingy for temple and me n yuankai had to go perform. sang 2 songs wif him playing guitar..it was fun practising and singing along with the guitar before the actual performance.. actual dae i was real nervous tho im familar to most of the ppl thr..still scared..i tried my best tho still kinda screwed up abit..btw..was a great experience..made me wana go back singing moreee.. njoyed dat wk loads wif family...


n as usual dinner meetup wif enen..njoyed dat dinner..we did sth we used to do long long time ago.. :)
n the very nxt dae we decided to both go hv a haircut..i wanted a big change..a diff look..so away my hair goes..hhaaa..enen looks real japish wif her new look tooo!!


went summer fest wif xuannie,jy n his friend..it became a eating session for us..hhaaa...bought loads of snacks and start munching while watchin the performances..


thr is a new jap intern in our office recently.so i decided to bring her ard bugis..was a nice outing..we shared a lot of diff culture habits n all..had fun..

----
hv been sick for the past few daes..really hope flu and cough goes away real soon..loads of tings i wana try and do nt when im sick!!!!