cRazi^dAy...

hmm..yesterdae was teachers day...right after the celebration..mi,janice,bee,en,jingxin,tobias n serene went kbox....nv samg so siao b4..rrealli crazi..practically screamin into the mic for most of the songs....sounds quite bad but who crs...haha...guess i was juz tryin to scream away all my stress in this period of prepration....sianz sia.....everyone muggin like duno wad....im muggin 2 but nt as hard...definitely compared to my pals....they so hardworkin sia...mi...kept feelin tired n lifeless.....gettin distracted....jia lat sia.....ya...luckily yih juz nw sae somethin dat mks mi feel much better....she said dat she wan mi go jc is actuali juz wana mk mi realise wad i wish to do in my future nt becoz dat jc is better n sounds better.....i felt more at ease.....but right nw in front of mi...i hv to face tis stack of wrkload dat im tryin to avoid...but at the same time wana force myself to understand all of them..its kinda ironic sia....haiz...wad to do...guess i realli hv to heed yih's advice...to sort my mind..to enjoy studyin..perhaps....mayb can go to the beach or sth to rest my mind....guess she is the onli 1 dat i can sort of tok more to nw ba....mks mi feel better....nw juz gotta mug n follow my schedule i plan lor.....

jiayou le......

toDae suX BiG tIMe...

todae is juz so lousy for mi..everythin juz dun seems rite....bad luck dae perhaps...i can't domy chem prac at the start of the dae...it was so complicated or perhaps im juz too stupid....everybody dun seems to hv a problem wif dat...but i juz kept forgettin the method to use it..i noe the prelims prac r comin soon n im nt a bit ready for it.....n now another screwed up pract for mi....!!!!!!!im goin bonkers le.....the whole cls dun seem friendly to mi at all...everone seems to unfamiliar....seriously i dun feel a bit for the sch...except for lep....everythin juz sux like shit lor.....exams r nearin but i didnt realli study enough..ppl r gettin horrible here..i guesss...some of them become so cold n unfriendly..others seems to trest mi as if im transparent..yes..i hv a lot of friends but i dun seem to feel the same as i was in sec sch..the type of feelin dat im totally welcomed by all my friends..n i am sure dat they will always b by my side...horrible...totally horrible now for mi......
i need to to release myself...get out of this situation...get away frm tis sch.....get away frm all tis fake n insincere ppl.....

F***

tEsTs~sUx!!!

sianz arhh......tis wk gt so mani tests to mug....tomolo there will be a maths tests...so right after sch todae...mi will rush hm to mug like crazi....n den tis sat there will be like 2 tests....(major...in a sense dat there is a lot to memorize)..the lep paper 2 tests n chemistry(the subject dat i sux most)..jia lat sia...summore there r like piles n piles of revision wrk for mi to complete..PLUS my tuition wrk....n of course my own revision dat i sort of can't accomplish....realli goin nuts right nw...so stressed...realli feel like givin up everythin...those stress is killin mi n i am sure as the alevels n prelims r comin nearer..my life will be even in a bigger n messier chaos.....pimples n black eye rings r like appearin more often on my face le......obviously..those r signs of stress....

sometimes...i realli tried doin wrk at hm...but i was so tired n brain dead everytime after i reach hm frm sch.....can't simply start wrk immediately juz like the days when i was in sec 4...when i was the top 25 percent n now.....haizz..the bottom 25percent of the entire sch....obviously...i am like so lousy n screwed up in my studies.....realli afraid dat i can't go to university..it will be like a disgrace to my parents n the entire whole family.....

right now...im tryin hard to study....try plannin a wrkable timetable...learn to be more organised...discipline myself frm all those different sources of distractions......muz realli wrk towards the aim of goin to university or else i can realli imagine i will suffer a terrible fate....worse comes to worse...i will go overseas or go poly...(willbe 2 yrs laggin behind my sis who is in poly nw)...dats so du lian......

daYs fOr mI r gEtTin dArker.....i realli feel dat i lost myself....can't recoginze myself animore..i will look at the mirror n wonder who the hell is dat gal...she looked so haggard..so demoralised....so tired.....

**cOol n fUn dAe**/hEart pAin

yesterdae went karoke again wif tobias n his friends....of course along wif my friends...especially janice..haha....dat was a realli fun dae..though the karoke session like quite short...(to mi)...keep singin n tryin some songs mi nv tried b4....tobias is still damn pro....he realli can hv his own album lo...n if he gt album i will buy 1..haha...alex can rap the jay chou damn well too....gt the feel..haha...such an enjoyable dae...at least i mk it a pt to b more careful wif my ez-link card tis time....

todae...a realli tirin n sianz dae for mi....didnt do much..juz revise 1 chpt 4 maths n went through organic chem..den tuition le...nw mi is like damn drained....after dat still hv to stare at chem again till mi vomit....hmm...todae is oso like a bx dae for mi..my hp kept vibratin....sms comin...hehe....but it is comin frm my new friend alex la.....he seems to have so mani topics to tok abt sia...haha..oso gt sms ryan...dun expect him to reply...but he was quite fast sia.....haiz...frm the conversation...i reali feel dat we realli drifted so far apart......dats saddenin.. :( but oso hv no choice...he is oso preoccupied wif his poly life...nt as close as b4 le.....

now..realli feel dat i dun hv ani real true friends around le....realli need it....need someone to heal my soul...help mi get through tis darkest times...reallli demoralised n sad..

somebody save mi~

TirEd**

todae isn a realli tirin dae 4 mi.....a bit can't get used to sch..sort of like duno wad mi doin in sch....had a realli suckin test....sure fail....didnt realli study much for dat aniwae....found out dat there is so much wrk to do......haizzz.....janice juz ask to go karoke tis fri again....realli wana go sia but hv to think twice...scare can't finish my wrk...there is like 2 huge tests comin out nxt sat....muz jia you again liao....sux...

seriously..after the fa hui thingy..i start thinkin a lot...mayb too much..nw in sch oso feel damn weird.....mayb i shd like stop thinkin n concentrate in my studies......

LosT^^dAy

kEitA..kEitA

juz saw some pics of keita frm w-inds...he is like so damn cute...so iressitable...recently even bought a card of him...nw inside my wallet.....bringin him wherever i go.....hahaha..jia lat..tink mi realli goin r\crazi over him le....

btw...me tis fw days went 4 the temple 4 fa hui....3 day thingy....realli let me learn a lot of moral stuff....realli feel like changin all my bad habits...become someone who tinks abt others n not juz myself.....n also nt to bear grudges....mayb by doin dat..i will nt feel so vexed ba.......great learnin experience for mi.....BUT tis few days haven done ani wrk....gettin a little worried....gt test on wed somemore....haven touch ani stuff.......guess after the fa hui muz start to jiayou le!!

kEiTa^^ruLeZ

buZi~buZi

realli buzi tis few days...dun even hv the time to log in online...hv to do tis in my last 15 mins or so before i go to my last lesson in sch todae......so mani wrk to do....for chemistry...i hv like so many tys questions to complete n a maths test paper to do.....lep is the same..plus my own revision.....stressed is the only word i can describe hw i feel nw....haiz....tis sat.sun n mon hv to go to listen to fa hui which is like damn boring...duno if i will fall asleep a nt...plus i hv like tons of wrk to complete.....sianz sia...

realli hope dat i can go kbox though inspite of my busy schedule...i need to sing my stress out......damn long didnt get to sing le..due to my sore throat n cough...well at least now im much beta and ready to sing my lungs out.....haiz....realli hope to get some air out frm my buzi sch wrk nad tiredness.....(keep fallin asleep in cls again)...guess i realli hv to do sth abt it.....