Monday, August 16, 2004

tEsTs~sUx!!!

sianz arhh......tis wk gt so mani tests to mug....tomolo there will be a maths tests...so right after sch todae...mi will rush hm to mug like crazi....n den tis sat there will be like 2 tests....(major...in a sense dat there is a lot to memorize)..the lep paper 2 tests n chemistry(the subject dat i sux most)..jia lat sia...summore there r like piles n piles of revision wrk for mi to complete..PLUS my tuition wrk....n of course my own revision dat i sort of can't accomplish....realli goin nuts right nw...so stressed...realli feel like givin up everythin...those stress is killin mi n i am sure as the alevels n prelims r comin nearer..my life will be even in a bigger n messier chaos.....pimples n black eye rings r like appearin more often on my face le......obviously..those r signs of stress....
sometimes...i realli tried doin wrk at hm...but i was so tired n brain dead everytime after i reach hm frm sch.....can't simply start wrk immediately juz like the days when i was in sec 4...when i was the top 25 percent n now.....haizz..the bottom 25percent of the entire sch....obviously...i am like so lousy n screwed up in my studies.....realli afraid dat i can't go to university..it will be like a disgrace to my parents n the entire whole family.....
right now...im tryin hard to study....try plannin a wrkable timetable...learn to be more organised...discipline myself frm all those different sources of distractions......muz realli wrk towards the aim of goin to university or else i can realli imagine i will suffer a terrible fate....worse comes to worse...i will go overseas or go poly...(willbe 2 yrs laggin behind my sis who is in poly nw)...dats so du lian......
daYs fOr mI r gEtTin dArker.....i realli feel dat i lost myself....can't recoginze myself animore..i will look at the mirror n wonder who the hell is dat gal...she looked so haggard..so demoralised....so tired.....

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